Approaching This Scientifically

today it occurs to me to think about this sociologically.

in the interest of full disclosure, I admit that I have never taken a sociology course or even really read enough course descriptions in college to really know what it is. but this is my based on my guess.

I will examine the teams. Who thinks I should be a lawyer and why. Who doesn't think I should be a lawyer and why.

The Pro-Lawyers

1. My dad. My dad is so excited that his daughter graduated from a top law school. He is so excited that I practice law. I think he feels sort of vindicated. His asshole parents always treated him- and us- like screw-ups. Which is weird because my dad is super smart, just a little unruly. So here he's been treated like a failure for half a century and then boom, his baby out performs them. He also likes talking to the people who come through his nursery (shoutout for dad- if you need a living gift for someone try www.japanesemaples.com- I guarantee a good time) about his lawyer daughter. I think it makes all those suburban struggler and judgers pause for a second and reconsider this crazy tree farmer out in the boonies.

2. My husband's family. Aunts in particular. They love us like you read about in novels. But money. You just cannot quit in this economy.

4. My husband's best friend and tax guru. You CANNOT quit your job. Unless you have one that pays more.

5. All my friends here. They havent known me as long. I've always been like this to them. The economy is terrible. You need to stick with it.

The Anti-Lawyers

1. My brother. Almost 25 years old and wandering around Asia with a camera avoiding finishing college. He has a degree from a photo school in photojournalism and is"building a portfolio." (lil shameless marketing- HE is actually entertaining: www.milemarker7.blogspot.com) He is a *damn* fine photographer- and I have studied photography and am more than happy to find fault in him so that's a legit accolade. He emails from Nepal, "There is nothing lame about doing what is going to make you happy in life. I realize I have never sat you down to have a talk but I wanted to tell you to quit this job for ages. Be happy. Take the chance to be as confident and happy in your professional life as you are in your personal."

2. My best friend from college. With the safety net of a supportive dad (supportive in both of the key ways- in theory and, when necessary, with the occasional cash infusion for things like a dress to wear an event or a plane ticket to somewhere important), she works for a reallllllly interesting, well-regarded non-profit doing important work that moves her and has an edge of excitement. "I'd be proud of you."

3. My therapist. Whom I adore and wouldn't be able to afford. Lawyers are the least fulfilled professionals in America. It is especially unfulfilling for women. She works with tons of attorneys- all miserable. she cannot understand how a profession can survive despite treating people the way law treats lawyers.

4. My former lawyer girlfriends. "That's why I love you. Just enjoy life. Be free."

The Torn
1. My husband. (a) We just bought a house. JUST. It is TERRIFYING. The bills NEVER stop. The shower broke before I even set foot in the door. The taxes are INSANE. (Hello! I pay $180 semi-annually for libraries. I love libraries and all, but I have suddenly become a far more frequent patron!) And then there is that mortgage thing. Ouch. And then there are....you get the idea. We bought a house in Berkeley and then I quit the six figure job. (b) On the other hand, I am TERRIBLE company when I am a lawyer. I cry. I never smile. I toss and turn. I bail on parties, dates, chores I promised to do. I hate my life and I bring those around me down. (c) When we met, I was cool. I worked for legal aid. That is a decent thing to do with your life. He respected me. Now I work for a firm. No respect.

2. My mother. Expects me to be the square in a nuclear family of black sheep. Thinks I am so capable. Money is part of it. On the other hand, she thinks it "teaches people to think a certain way" that apparently is a bad way. Reminds me that she was never all that supportive of me doing this. I mean, she is proud of my accomplishments of course. But she thinks lawyers are assholes.

3. My best friend. Practical. She loves me and wants me to be happy. But there are bills to pay, resumes to build.

Now, we have to balance the quantity of the Pros against the quality of the Antis.

1. Many of the Pros are new in our lives. They don't understand this as weird for me. I have just always been a lawyer-loathing lawyer to them.

2. They mostly share one concern: munnie.

3. The Antis care deeply for me as little me. Idealistic me. Real me.

4. The Antis share my values more than the Pros.

5. The Antis are doing things with their lives that I want to be doing with mine. The Pros are not. The Pros are paralegals, librarians, CPAs. The Antis are living life the way I want to live life.

So, I think a coalition of the Antis with a little help from the Torn win.

But there you have it. By nature, we we will hear the evidence that supports our own hypothesis. Whatever. I think I'm right.